parco dio

lightening and rain
ghost exits my eye
broken whistles of a lost paradise
lakes falling from the sky
onto my weary foot
no thought in the wind
only pure and dirty emotion
the air trapped in itself
my heart is troubled
but what moves me, ever-presently content
and the sky slowly clears its mind
the ghost returns to my eye
the wolf becomes brave again
and goes for a swim

hmmm.... about 1:30 am. bored as shit. thinking about next week. Jesse moves here. i guess even tho things will be ok one way or another, it doesnt mean that my brain wont be worried. i am worried, nervous, and overwhelmed. i am so use to spending lots of time alone and i am not use to having a man around.i am afraid that my writing will suffer. or that i may lose myself in him. or even worse, he will lose himself in me.in a way its good to lose yourself but damn, i dont want to hinder anyone's growth in any way and i think thats what happens often in "real relationships". in my reality so far, i really havent had much experience with "real" or long-term or whatever they call it, relationships. usually i spend a month with a person and then get bored and give em the boot. sounds harsh and it probably is but i need to be honest with myself about this. i have trouble with commitment for fucksake. i want the positive parts of it but i dont want the negative. ha! and i feel childish about it. i want to continue to be free. and i will be. but i know that some people are not ok with their significant person being this way. fuck. i dont know what his expectations are really. he says he just wants to be with me but ya never know. some people expect domestication(which i think is not humanly possible for me). ah well now that that is out i am going to bed. hope nobody wasted their time reading this and i apologize if you did.